I am sitting at my desk with my second whiskey and ginger ale of the evening. I just filled my vape, and Bloodhound Gang is playing on Spotify right now. This effectively sets the mood for my final blog post of the year.
The weight loss tracking is real and still going. I am not shocked I gained right around Christmas. But as you can see I am back in action and the pounds are now moving in the right direction. Previously, I made a goal to avoid any food that came from anywhere with a drive through. I made a goal of one week, so I could start small and hit the ground running. I did make it through that week with no real struggles. Christmas Eve we had pizza. No drive through, so it fit into my goals. I felt so gross after eating Dominos. I kept going with the fast food avoidance, though. It was only today that I allowed myself some fast food. I ordered Jack In The Box. I regretted it greatly. Not in a disappointed with myself kind of way. More like my body hated it and I got sick kind of way. Tomorrow kicks off a one month no fast food commitment. I aim to slay that goal. It helps to know my body has started to reject fast food.
I am enjoying a three-day weekend as I have tomorrow off as well. I smoked my first pork butt today. It was intimidating, but it came out oh so good. I am still pushing myself to try new things one day at a time. I am pleased to see that I am making progress on my goals.
I finished a book today. It is It's Not Me It's You by John Kim and Vanessa Bennet. A fantastic read. John and Vanessa are partners, and they wrote a raw and revealing book about relationships together. They really let it all hang out and shared personal struggles. It is nice to hear that even professionals have struggles just like the rest of us. They provided some thought-provoking questions and excellent tools along the way. I highly recommend it.
2023 has been a year of growth, joy and personal challenges and loss. Once you start working on yourself, you never really get to stop. We all pause from time to time to take a breath, but the work is never ending. That might sound like a bad thing, but honestly, to learn and grow as a human is truly rewarding. I hope that by this time in 2024 I am remarkably different than I am now. This is not to day that I don't like who I am, but I am open to the change that knowledge brings.
I want to keep pushing myself just as hard next year. I really do want to read at least 12 books next year. I fell very short of that goal this time around. I took a bigger breather than planned. What comes next is relearning those good habits and making commitments to myself.
I look forward to working on the podcast again. This season feels like it will be more work, but worth it. I am craving the rewards that challenging myself brings. I have a half-marathon to train for as well. I also will go camping at some point, it has been far too long. I think one of the biggest changes will be, being mindful of the little things. There are lots of small things that I never seem to take the time to do, and it bothers me.
Tomorrow, Shelby and I will be celebrating one year together officially as partners. I can actually say that I am in a healthy and committed relationship where I feel secure, heard, supported and loved. This is a huge accomplishment for this year and in general. We have both done so much self work to get to the point we are at now, and it has truly been worth it.
I am entering 2024 with self-worth, self-respect, self-love, healthy boundaries and joy. This is truly a first. I have enjoyed different parts of these things at different times over the years, but this is the first time I have them all at the same time. That is a noteworthy accomplishment that I am truly proud of. While 2023 has been a trip, it has had some lows. We lost Adam, and there are times that I shed some manly tears over this fact still. Out of his loss, I did make some new connections with his family and friends, and I am grateful for that.
2024 I embrace the changes and opportunity you present to me. I accept that it will not be all sunshine and roses. I remind myself that I can't always control what happens to me, but I can control how I react. I pledge to myself, my daughter and my partner that no matter what I will continue to work on my self-improvement and become a better person when I find areas that I need to work on. I embrace the love and communication I have with my amazing partner and I look forward to the adventures we will go on big or small in the coming year. 2023 Thank you for the love growth and lessons you gave us. Until next year, dear readers, this is Bishop signing off for 2023.
Bishop :(:
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