I didn't think I would find myself here at the keyboard, tonight. Tonight was a family Christmas party with Shelby, we also had the monkey with us. I have had a massive headache on and off all day today. We got home a bit past seven, and I headed for the bedroom and took some medication and relaxed in bed playing on my phone. I figured that was the end of my night. But as the water and medication did its work, I found myself driven to unload the dishwasher and prepare lunch for tomorrow.
A group of us have started up a little book club again, working on this book. I sat down and worked through a few exercises. It felt fantastic. Looking at the late hour of the evening, I realized I would not be happy with myself if I did not take a few minutes and pound the keys. I love the questions in this book. It allows you to focus and dig deeper on key areas in life.
One of the assignments was to list three pieces of advice for the coming year. I am going to share what I wrote this evening.
1. Do not make yourself small. Live your life. Make noise, make waves and take up the space you deserve. You might annoy some people along the way, but that is living.
Context. As funny as it might be to visualize, I a 300+ pound person have a bad habit of constantly worrying that I am annoying other people. I hyper fixate on what I do and how it might annoy other people. I give more consideration to others than I often do to myself. This is something I am working on.
2. No rainy day objects or some day goals. Use the good paper. Mark up the books You are worthy and ready.
Context. I have received many gifts in my life that I felt "unworthy" if you will to use. Like the mostly untouched artist grade pencils and sketchbook I received many years ago. Or the moleskin notebooks that my penmanship was not worthy of being written upon such nice notebooks. I know it might sound silly, but this I can trace back to many gifts I was given as a child and then witnessed them put on a high shelf because I was "Not ready" for them. Only to see them given away years later because I no longer needed them. Oh, how that has fucked me up.
3. You know what you can accomplish at rest. Now is the time to push yourself. It is time to set long term goals and make reasons to stick to them. We already know how to quit. Let's learn how to win!
Context. I am successful at quitting. My many side projects, weight loss attempts or other goals that fall by the wayside. This is me directly calling myself out and challenging my self to set hard goals and see them through. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and see what I can really do. No more half-assed attempts that I give myself a way out of.
The biggest obstacle we often face in life is ourselves. Success or failure can be directly tied to our selves. Yes, things outside our selves and out of our control happen. But we get to chose how to respond to them. When we hit hard times we have two options to give ourselves comfortable reasons to fold or push ourselves to move on, move forward and kick ass. This ties into the same shit different day life I always harp on. If we live and play by the rules we know and have set for ourselves, we will continue the same shit cycle. In order to change, we have to light the rule book on fire from time to time. Just like when we chose inaction because a plan is not perfect and find ourselves accomplishing fuck all. A half cocked attempt is better than no attempt at all.
Thank you for attending my pep talk aimed directly at myself. I hope you have all had a fantastic week. Monday is coming, so let's kick this week's ass! Also, what are three honest pieces of advice you should give yourself for the coming year?
Bishop :(:
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