One of my friends shared this on Facebook and I absolutely loved it. I think anyone who has done a decent amount of self work has hit this point at least once. Being comfortable with your own company is a huge step for many. So big of a step that we sometimes don't want to let others into our nice little, comfortable world. And truthfully, that is not a bad place to dwell for a while.
Today I dropped Jackie off in Orem to her mom. After that, I headed to the local Walmart. While that is not an earth-shattering thing to do, it made me reflect on my past life. I drove streets today that I haven't been down since I moved out of Orem in 2021. Maybe some background would help.
I was married in Orem, August 2007. Moved to Orem in October 2010. Bought my first home A few years after. All in Orem. I separated in August 2017. Was officially divorced and went about my comedy of errors of life choices and dating life post divorce. I started the self-love journey in my little house on Orem. That train derailed several times along the way.
Remembering heading down those same roads to stock up for camping trips with friends or getting supplies at the local Lowes for home repairs or charity work items to make into prizes. I had a lot more "Friends" back then. Some of them left without reason or parting words. Probably because I myself was a version of toxic back then. I won't deny it.
Others I removed along the way. Sometimes others heal out of the phase of life we are in, and sometimes we heal out of it and have to move on. I can't author a poison pen letter about these people. Some were truly friends in that period of time. Others were important life lessons, but they all played a part.
We spend a lot of time looking at our past, often when we feel low in the present. I myself have done this. Today was different. It was a reflection of the journey through the lens of life that I have now. To those that knew me or that I knew then. No matter the trespass, mine or yours. Thank you for being part of the journey. I hope all of you have found the peace and joy that you deserve at whatever level you are at.
Sometimes I departed without a word, just as others had done to me. As someone who once sought that, often mentioned closure in all things. I now understand why some goodbyes are quiet. Truthfully, there is no purchase in some instances in trying to have a goodbye conversation. One or the other party might not understand the why behind the goodbye. Sometimes the relationship is too far damaged to have a productive conversation.
So when you find yourself full of poison or venom about those in your past. Think of the lesson they taught you. It probably sucked at that moment of time, and they might have been the cause for a therapy session or two. But you probably grew to be a better person from that experience. I am not at all saying you need to seek them out and thank them personally. Let the quiet and the passing of time be the distance you need. But when we spend less time being angry with the past and living in the reality of what is the present, we make room for what and who is important now.
Bishop :(:
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