New Year Same Demons

 

            Yes, we have been in this exact spot more times than I can remember. I have lost count. The holidays are over. I am out of excuses formulated with the human construct of time and holidays to justify my unhealthy eating habits.

            Yes, I recognize the wave of new year new me posts, pics and hashtags flooding all avenues of social media at this very moment. I wanted to write this earlier in the day. However, I am not currently accepting good intentions or lip service from myself.

            Today's activities started last night. Last night, before I retired to my bed, I put the new batteries in my scale. The same batteries I have had for over a week. I took away the path to excesses to delay weighing in this morning. My last act of 2024 was to make myself accountable today.

            For months, I have been telling myself I need to start working out. I have side stepped that activity because I have not had a workout routine. I have kettlebells. Not only that, but I have a step-up box and a yoga mat. A quick YouTube search found a 15-minute full body workout. I created a new YouTube playlist and saved that one video to it. I watched about three minutes of it last night.

            Shelby is taking a nap. Monkey is playing upstairs. I basically have the basement to myself. I did the mental gymnastics of arguing with myself about how to proceed. My internal dialogue consisted of the best way to watch said video without bothering anyone else. 

            I am excellent at stalling. I pondered watching it on my tablet. Then about having to connect my headphones. Then about watching it on the TV. But I did not want to make too much noise and disturb Shelby. I got my Roku app to connect to the living room TV again. Then I verified I could stream the audio to my phone that already has my headphones connected.  Then I had to fight Chuck FUCKING Norris! 

            No shit, he had some kind of advertisement playing on my YouTube that I could not escape. I had to skip to a different video and then back to my one video saved in the playlist. I kicked his digitally advertising ass. I fetched my 10 pound kettlebell and rolled out the yoga mat. So, I was not ready for a 10-minute full body kettlebell workout. I know some of those movements would not be good on my already taxed joints. So I improvised, adapted and overcame. 

            Did I get a full 15 minutes of workout in? No, no, I did not. Did I get more focused movement and activity in than I have in the last six months? Please see my very enthused and winded selfie displayed above. Earlier this morning, I mentally digested this highly motivating article from the internet.   

Losing Weight Is Often a Losing Battle

Researchers said the overall chances of a man with obesity obtaining a normal body weight were 1 in 210. For women, it was 1 in 124.

Those odds worsen as a person’s weight increases.

Men with a BMI over 40 had a 1 in 1,290 chance of becoming healthy while women in that category had a 1 in 677 chance.

Losing 5 percent of their weight was successful for about 10 percent of women and 1 in 12 men.

“Once an adult becomes obese, it is very unlikely that they will return to a healthy body weight,” Alison Fildes, Ph.D., first author of the study from the Division of Health and Social Care Research at King’s College London, said in a press release.

Keeping the weight off is an even more difficult battle.

About 53 percent of patients regained lost weight within two years and 78 percent put the weight back on within five years.

A third of all patients had fluctuating weight, signifying many battles were lost and won before any kind of victory could be achieved.

“Losing 5 to 10 percent of your body weight has been shown to have meaningful health benefits and is often recommended as a weight loss target,” said Fildes. “These findings highlight how difficult it is for people with obesity to achieve and maintain even small amounts of weight loss.”   

            10% of my body weight is 36.00 lbs. So we now have the first fitness goal of 2025. I already learned I am reasonably comfortable with my discomfort. Side note, I just ventured upstairs for some low-carb snacks because I have not eaten a lot of protein today. Holy shit, that workout did something because I felt the burn going up the stairs. So I am starting 2025 at war with myself. This is because I need to be at odds with my firmly established poor habits. I also really have to go to war with the math and odds presented in that extremely motivational article. 

            For the last three months of 2024 I was not feeling social enough for social media most of the time. It happens sometimes. But I am proud to report I made it through 12 books in 2024. I wanted to throw in the towel several times. But I came so far, and I wanted that mental gold star. I earned that bitch.

            I WILL do it again this year. My instinct was to write "I want to". But I am over wanting to do things. Wanting to do things has never gotten me anything. So WILL be more forceful with myself mentally, physically, verbally and in writing. This is just how it has to be. 

            Yes, that is a jar of fucks next to The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck. Chapter one is already done today. I WILL be my own damn motivational faerie this year. I know day one motivation is supposed to be easy. My sore thighs are here to tell you it has not. My self-imposed mind games can tell you it is not fun. As much as we take in the bullshit of the world, we have the ability to take it with a grain of salt. Or build fort Kick Ass and take no prisoners against it. 

        If you started something today, I am proud of you. If you made a resolution today, I am proud of you. Don't let the jaded masses take you down a peg. This year will be whatever we make out of it. 

Bishop :(: