I did not have the kiddo this weekend. Truthfully, I didn’t have much of anything going on. Just 48 hours off work and a few simple chores that needed to be done. Did I have plenty of things I could be doing? Of course. We all always have a stack of things waiting.
The usual for me is trying to take some downtime while mentally tearing myself down for it. That means no real rest or relaxation—just more stress while pretending to decompress. Very counterproductive.
For the first time in a long time, I let myself have a guilt-free weekend. No money, nowhere to go, and a Jeep with a rear end that howls like a whore at Fleet Week. This was an at-home weekend. I slept in on Saturday morning, got up, ate lunch, and started my laundry. Nothing exciting.
Shelby had D&D that night, so it was a solo evening with just the Moose for company. I turned on Netflix and watched some Supernatural. I’ve never seen it all the way through. The show went off the air a long time ago, and I haven’t been ready to finish Season 15. It feels like not being ready to say goodbye to a friend—if I never see the end, then it never has to end. Season 15, episode 11 is playing in the background right now.
I did some drawing Saturday night. Nothing good or worth sharing, but enjoyable. Drawing isn’t one of my natural talents, and it’s not something I usually make time for. But years ago, I was gifted a drawing pad and artist-grade pencils—something I felt unworthy of using for a long time. Silly, isn’t it? Being given a gift but feeling you’re not good enough to use it? That feeling has followed me much of my life.
This morning I attempted to make omelets for Shelby and me. The end result was scrambled eggs. Tasted good—just wasn’t what I was after. After breakfast I did the dishes and went downstairs to play a video game. After a while a nap sounded good, so I took one.
After the nap I stripped the bed and washed the bedding. Turned the game back on and let the laundry run. Eventually our food order arrived. I let out the Moose, took care of the groceries, then went back to gaming until it felt like dinner time. I made grilled cheese and sliced some leftover smoked sausage. Simple, but it hit the spot.
After dinner it was time to enjoy something I’ve been missing—whiskey and ginger ale. With my trusty beverage in hand and Supernatural playing in the background, I sat down at the keyboard.
Thinking about how bad my drawing was made me stop and stare at the two forgotten guitars in the corner. I never make time for them either. And it hit me—my actual gift is writing and talking. I’ve always been good at sales. I bought a house selling cars. And whenever people talk to me about my blog, they tell me how relatable it is and how easy it is to read.
While I might not have the artistic gifts I pine for, I need to accept and enjoy the ones I do have. Taking a guilt-free weekend has been absolutely amazing. I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed. Could I have done more? Yes. But did I shame myself for not doing more? For once, no.
Not every weekend can be this kind of weekend, but there’s real value in embracing them when they come. After today, it’s back to the 7-to-5 grind—but I’ll have a little more spring in my step and a clearer perspective to carry me through the week.
Bishop :(:
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